What Is a Treiziste?

‘Treiziste’ is a term that refers to a very specific type of rugby league fan. It’s not very widely used (though we think it should be), so you may even be a treiziste without realising it.

A treiziste, first and foremost, loves French rugby league. I mean really loves French rugby league. Owning that one-off Barcelona-inspired Catalan Dragons shirt from the game at Camp Nou just doesn’t cut it. Treizistes are utterly convinced that Elite 1 is the greatest rugby league competition in the world. They watch the Elite 1 live broadcasts religiously at weekends and they know all the winners of La Coupe de France Lord Derby since 1945 – and who they beat in the final.

Treizistes always have to look the part. Skinny jeans, black Vans and a rugby shirt first eels eased back when Bradford were still a good side – usually with the way-too-long-and-baggy sleeves rolled up. The hardcore treiziste will only ever wear shirts from an era before Americanised team suffixes infected the sport. A less nostalgic treiziste may opt for an outlandish thread from their club’s new training range that would make ‘90s football goalkeepers blush.

A treiziste will always try to ram their reading list down your throat. They’ve read The Forbidden Game a thousand times. Hell, they know what’s in that book better than Mike Rylance himself. They’ve read every Tony Collins book and journal article that Google can throw at them. Every month they go to their local independent newsagent to buy the newest edition of Forty20, even though they can never work out when it’s released. (Seriously, what kind of release date is ‘the Friday closest to the 13th day of the month’?). Whilst they’re there, they’ll pick up a Rugby League World magazine just to flick to the pages about the game in France and Wales (if they’re to have that pretentious coffee and avocado toast on the way in to work every day then they can only stretch to one £5-a-month rugby league magazine, and it just has to be Forty 20).

Not only do they look the part, they have to sound it too. You might hear them call rugby league ‘footy’, even though they’re from the north of England, not New South Wales. If they’re talking about their beloved French game, it’s rugby à treize. They’ll talk about ‘D’ as opposed to defence. Good ball, build-in and exit sets. Squaring up four-man. Defenders losing their hips. Forwards and backs? Pfft. It’s middles and edges nowadays. They’ll think they’re better than you as they reel off these buzzwords – words they only know because they spent 16 hours watching and re-watching those clips of Trent Robinson at the touch screen with Jon Wells after the World Club Challenge a few years back.

A committed treiziste will always be dismissive of the NRL (with the exception of Trent Robinson’s Sydney Roosters), State of Origin or any game involving Pacific nations. They will only watch it so they can scoff at how overrated it is, and bemoan how every team plays the exact same way. This is because they have a deep hatred of what the Australians have done to the game since the early ‘00s with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and wrestle techniques, and they hold Michael Maguire personally responsible.

It’s vitally important for a treiziste to be progressive, both in their stances on footy and the world. They’re anti-Israel Folau, pro-expansion, and pro-letting-Sonny-Bill-choose-to-not-wear-a-6-inch-Betfred-logo-on-his-sleeve. At the faintest reference to rugby league being for northern Neanderthals, the treiziste will instantly begin their TED talk about how you are perpetuating classist stereotypes, and either call you a Tory rugby union b*****d or a class traitor.

If you think this sounds a lot like you, make sure you tell everyone at your local craft beer bar’s pub quiz that you are a proud, unapologetic treiziste.

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