We take a detailed look at the language of The Greatest Game, from the sheer syooperb to the complete shamozzle.
Over the next few weeks When we can be arsed, we’ll be taking a look at the language used in rugby league by journalists, broadcasters, coaches and fans, starting with try scoring. You may want to load up Edrenalin – Carpe Diem as you read this one. (https://open.spotify.com/track/65pBNrjs6p9JWNI4JB1PTm?si=KCilsljaRJSgEk2xPOBp2g, skip to about 30 seconds)
Go Over: An unremarkable yet functional method of try scoring. One can go over in the corner, out wide, or under the posts (see also The Uprights, The ‘H’s or The Black Dot). A very Michael Shenton method of scoring.
Dot Down: When a player dots down for their side, the rugby league football will have minimal contact with terra firma. You may dot down from a smart little grubber kick from the half back or, in more recent years, the dummy half. A dot down is similar in action to when one plants the ball down.
Plant(s) The Ball Down: A plant is often similar to a dot down in that there is little contact with the ground. However, one would usually have the ball in hand already before performing a plant. One can either be reaching for the whitewash, or be almost held up on one’s back in the in-goal area before planting the ball. The sheer force of the action means the ball can often come loose, in which case it is not uncommon for a defender to make off with the ball in an attempt to convince the match official that it’s N-O-T-R-Y, and that the ball carrier dropped his lollies.
Downward Pressure: Usually in relation to a try scored with the fingertips, but may also be the forearm or chest. The downward pressure will invariably be described as sufficient for the match officials to award the four-pointer. It may be pointed out by the commentary team that there are some question marks about the decision, but *shows footage of scoring team’s fans celebrating the word TRY being shown on the big screen* they won’t care, it’s T-R-Y time.
Acrobatics: One of the more modern try scoring methods pioneered by Kevin Penny, Gene Ormsby and others. Recently, the art of the flying finish has been mastered by the likes of Tom Johnstone and Tommy Makinson. Often follows some syooperb play from the attacking outfit, in which they utilised the dummy runners and fixed up defenders, who just couldn’t deal with the sheer number of bodies in motion. Invariably performed in the corner, requiring the match official to send it up stairs for another look for the next two and a half minutes. Cue Fatboy Slim, the same three camera angles as nauseam, and a pixelated Super Zoom™️ that shows absolutely sod all.
Dart: Darting over is a method of close-range scoring from dummy half, usually, but not exclusively by the hooker. A dart originates further from the whitewash than a burrow, allowing the scorer to show a quick turn of pace and sensational acceleration. A dart is quite often made possible by there being no-one at home, or with defenders at sixes and sevens. It’s customary to compliment the darter’s vision and speed of thought in this scenario.
Burrow: Burrowing one’s way over, again, invariably from dummy half, but with far more resistance from defenders than we see with a dart. The previous play-the-ball must also be within a whisker of the whitewash. Recent research suggests that 97% of all Kieron Cunningham’s tries involved burrowing.
Crash: A try from a close-range involving a high speed carry by a forward or sizeable three-quarter, such as a Konrad Hurrell. No more than 2 defenders can be involved it attempting to stop a crash. For tries from this range involving more defenders, see power.
Power: Less leg speed, more post-contact metres and more defenders than a crash. The ball carrier may piggyback any number of defenders, all of whom went up stairs. Like a crash, though, it’s always scored by a big hombre, who may or may not have only just entered the paddock after a breather on the sidelines. It’s vital to note the sheer grit and determination of the scorer.
Keep an eye out for the next piece in the series on rugby league language.
By Le Treiziste
Le Treiziste is the new home of alternative rugby league writing.
Treiziste 